The Shrinking Bladder


  • This week has been tough, physically. Little blob is doubling in size and I FEEL it. Daniel went out of town last Thursday for a long weekend away with his dad, and after five days of handling all the animals, housework, and work work alone and VERY nauseous, I was over it. By the time he got home, I was so relieved. I don't know how many more dog walks I could take in 100° heat while this sick. The rest of the week went by in a blur of early bed times, figuring out ways to stay focused at work, and trying to decide what, if anything, sounded good to eat. 

    How far along? 7 weeks
    IVF Medications? Hopefully only a few more weeks of these suckers! 
    Maternity clothes? Bought my first dress, and although I definitely do not need it yet, its so cute and comfy!
    Stretch marks? Bought some oil to hopefully preemptively keep them away...
    Bladder Watch: Nothing unmanageable yet.
    Sleep: Nights are becoming more difficult between bathroom breaks, weird dreams, and sore breasts (I'm a stomach sleeper).
    Best moment(s) this week: Seeing that all was well with baby still at our second sonogram, and that my doctor seemed so relaxed and positive. 
    Miss Anything? Feeling well.
    Movement: Not yet
    Food cravings: I did cry over a Taco Bell Caramel Apple Empanada. So, there's that. My cravings are random and STRONG. Still bagels and cream cheese, ice cream, pancakes... but mostly, if I read it or see it I either want it immediately or I almost throw up. There is no in between. 
    Anything making you queasy or sick: Strong smells still, including deodorants and perfumes. I'm upchucking about once a day now, without any general pattern. Fun.
    Gender: No idea, but we're getting closer!
    Labor Signs: None
    Pregnancy Symptoms: Mood swings (Lack of sleep? Nausea? Probably both culprits), exhaustion, nausea/vomiting. All the fun things. Sudden food cravings that must be satiated before I can do anything else. I'm beginning to expand, for sure, and my size 6 jeans are going unbuttoned for the foreseeable future.
    IVF Medication Symptoms: Bloating, sore butt cheeks, and the suppositories are really beginning to make me uncomfortable. Anxiety attacks that are attributed to progesterone also reared their ugly heads this week. Is this part over yet?
    Belly Button in or out? In
    Rings on or off? On
    Happy or Moody most of the time: Moody. Some pouty moments about food I want not being available and no longer fitting into some clothing already.
    Looking forward to: Going public! Ready to get this cat out of the bag!

    On Wednesday, I was able to see blob again, who is certainly looking less like a blob. (S)he looked much more like a gummy bear! I saw the heartbeat again and it was very strong. The doctor is really pleased with how things are going and has scheduled me for one last ultrasound at the fertility clinic on 7/11 before I move on to the general population at the OB the week after. 

    I'm doing my absolute best to be grateful for every moment of this pregnancy, because I know it will go much faster than I expect. However, if at all possible, I will be grateful from my bed during a much-needed nap. 



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    I'm EXHAUSTED! Keeping my eyes open all day is absolute torture. The waves of nausea are still intense and meat that includes bones of any kind are off the menu for the foreseeable future.

    This week has definitely been the busiest and most exciting week so far of IVF/pregnancy. Wednesday was our very first pregnancy ultrasound and the first half of the week genuinely crawled by. I was so anxious to see the blob and make sure everything was growing accordingly. For the first few seconds of the ultrasound, I could only see the black area where the pregnancy sac was, but not the gestational sac. I swear I wasn't even breathing at that point, I was so nervous. But she moved the wand ever so slightly and there the blob was. I could clearly see the gestational sac, the fetal pole, and then she pointed to the tiny flicker on the screen and told us that was the heart already beating. I immediately cried. The blob is measuring on schedule and the doctor was pleased with where we're at. I don't feel the wave of relief that I thought I would feel, I'm still absolutely terrified, but everything looked exactly as it should and that was enough to move me forward to our next ultrasound next week, where we will get a good reading on blob's heartbeat! (Its almost time for a new nickname, too... blob was looking more like a tadpole or a tamagochi!)


    How far along? 6 weeks
    IVF Medications? Still the usual. 1 cc Progesterone in oil shot every other day, 4 progesterone suppositories daily, 6 mg estrogen daily. Daniel was out of town for part of this week, so Emily stepped in as my special guest injection administrator! She needed a few drinks to work up the courage, but she did great! Don't ever let anyone tell you stabbing your best friend is always a bad thing 😁.
    Maternity clothes? No, and the bloat is receding, thank goodness. I even wore jeans a few days this week and didn't feel like my stomach was crying out for help.
    Stretch marks? Is there a god or goddess I can pray to to avoid these?
    Bladder Watch: A lot more nighttime bathroom breaks, which are a bummer.
    Sleep: Yes, please.
    Best moment(s) this week: Seeing that tiny flicker on the ultrasound. I can't believe the heart is beating in there!
    Miss Anything? Fully caffeinated coffee. I'm sticking to a cup of half-caff in the mornings, but its not cutting it. I might as well go without.
    Movement: I've still got quite a while...
    Food cravings: Bagels with cream cheese, bananas and strawberries, cake-like sweets (especially donuts!), and as always, goldfish crackers when I'm feeling nauseous.
    Anything making you queasy or sick: Any strong smell in the kitchen, meat, and overeating (aka normal sized meals). I rarely feel really hungry, and if I eat more than a snack or small meal, I'm going to need to go find a bed and a bathroom pronto.
    Gender: I've had dreams its a boy, but we will see!
    Labor Signs: None, thank goodness.
    Pregnancy Symptoms: "Morning" sickness (Ha! Mornings only? Nope.), exhaustion, hip pain, and of course, sore breasts. Had my first vomiting experience this week, so that was a BLAST. Also, acne. I haven't had any during IVF (which I was shocked by), but I've now got a few spots of painful cystic acne.
    IVF Medication Symptoms: Still going strong with the bruises on the butt cheeks.
    Belly Button in or out? Happily in.
    Rings on or off? On, when I can remember them in the mornings!
    Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy. I think the anxiety leading up to the ultrasound had me moody, but as soon as I saw everything was okay, I felt much much more excited.
    Looking forward to: SLEEP! Our second ultrasound to measure blob's heartbeat!


    In addition to our ultrasound, we spent Sunday with our families for Father's Day! We finally got to share the news with them, and I feel so relieved not to have to lie to them about blood work, exhaustion, and nausea anymore. 

    For my parents, my chihuahua, Tater, wore a "big brother" shirt over for a visit. My parents were so excited, but still very nervous. My mom reminded me that she was so sick with me during her first trimester with me, she honestly thought my dad was poisoning her coffee. So it felt good to know I am not alone in my misery. For Daniel's parents, we made a baby fish to go with the rest of the family fish they keep on the wall at their beach house. There were lots of hugs and a few tears, and my mother-in-law commiserating with me- she was very sick for all three of her pregnancies, too! After our ultrasound, we called our extended family. I'm pretty sure our cousins Michal and Greta may have crashed their car when we told them. 

    Daniel and I have begun discussing when to make this allll the way public. In "traditional" pregnancy protocol, it was WAY early to share the news. But because we were so open with IVF, there is little point in not telling folks the outcome within a few weeks. I'd like to wait for a strong heartbeat measurement next week, at minimum, and Daniel is already chomping at the bit. We know that if something happened to blob (god forbid), we would also be honest with everyone and open. We'll find the right time, but for now I'm just glad it isn't a tightly kept secret and I can share my excitement.

    Hello, blob!

    The little fish we made to add to the Russo Family Fish wall

    Tater's Big Brother shirt


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    For some reason, our app didn't believe that I needed a sticker for 5 weeks, so I made my own. Baby is the size of a headphone jack, peppercorn, pencil eraser, lentil, or apple seed, depending on where you look. 

    Baby's first theme park! Before our transfer, Daniel and I planned a day at Disney's Animal Kingdom for a few weeks post transfer. We figured that no matter what the outcome was, this would be a good way to end the cycle and spend a day together. If it failed, I could drink some tropical drinks, ride a few coasters, and mentally prepare for round two. But, blob is hanging on tight! Instead of riding roller coasters, we spent the day on the safaris and doing the lower impact rides. It was still a really nice day with Daniel! It was also REALLY hot, like 93 at midday. It made me extremely grateful that I'll be at my most pregnant during the fall and winter months. 

    This week was also the first week I felt pregnancy symptoms... I thought the nausea was bad before? Ha. I asked for Mexican food for dinner, but as soon as the plate was in front of me, I wanted it gone. I took an accidental 4 hour nap one weekend afternoon, and my first bout of morning sickness made its debut on Monday at work. Hip pain/round ligament pain started about midweek and absolutely terrified me. After several google searches and texts to mom-friends, I tried to take comfort in the fact that this was my uterus and hips preparing for carrying blob, and not losing him/her. All of these symptoms, while annoying, make me feel so much more secure that little blob is growing and doing well. I'm still anxious for our scan, but feeling very positive!

    How far along? 5 weeks
    IVF Medications? 1 cc Progesterone in oil shot every other day, 4 progesterone suppositories daily, 6 mg estrogen daily.
    Maternity clothes? Not yet, but the size small yoga pants I'm wearing in the photo above left some lovely marks all across my stomach. Time for a ban on tight clothes.
    Stretch marks? No
    Bladder Watch: I'm up a few times at night to pee, but it is probably still a result of the uptick in water consumption.
    Sleep: The vivid dreams are bizarre. Definitely woke up angry at Daniel a few times this week- one of which included needing a surrogate, one of our friends volunteering, and then Daniel having a baby with that surrogate instead of using my egg. The surrogate friend then fought us for custody. I am still seething a little. 😂
    Best moment(s) this week: We decided to tell our siblings this week, which was fun. Because everyone is aware we underwent IVF, we have been lying to our family/parents/grandparents, saying "blood work got lost at the lab" and so on. This worked well, for the most part. Our siblings are a little more familiar with the process and knew that couldn't be true. We called and 'fessed up, but they know mum's the word for a few more weeks.
    Miss Anything? Wine/beer. For sure.  
    Movement: No.
    Food cravings: Absolutely not. Just whatever I can eat without feeling awful.
    Anything making you queasy or sick: Grocery shopping or cooking. Being around food in large portions is grossing me out. I've made my little snack drawer at work, and that's about all I can handle.
    Gender: Maybe its a puppy!
    Labor Signs: No.
    Pregnancy Symptoms: I'm having cramping/pain on and off, which of course terrifies me. I try and remind myself that blob is making room in there, that's all it is. Also, the area outside of my nipples has started to darken, I've got that lovely morning sickness, heavy-feeling breasts, and the weird vivid dreams. The afternoons/evenings are tough thanks to exhaustion, but I have lots of energy in the morning!
    IVF Medication Symptoms: Poor booty is still looking sad from the shots. 
    Belly Button in or out? In, safe and sound.
    Rings on or off? On.
    Happy or Moody most of the time: Moody, for sure. I don't to say the mood swings have started, but....
    Looking forward to: Telling our parents this weekend on Father's Day. Both sets of our parents know we did IVF and have been VERY nosy. Originally, I had wanted to wait until after our ultrasound, but I don't think they're buying our lies for very much longer....

    All in all, it was a good week. One week closer to seeing blob's heartbeat. I find I'm more comfortable saying that I'm pregnant and not feeling like a fraud or like I'm jinxing it. I'm making an effort to try and enjoy every moment of pregnancy this week. You're only pregnant a few times, if you're lucky. Gotta relish in it while you can!

    Daniel got in on the fun with his own bump photo....


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    So, here we are. My first ever bump photo. It was completely surreal to stand there and hold my gut bump like I'd seen so many of my friends do before. We were at a wedding at the contemporary art museum, saw a piece by a local artist that we loved, and decided that was the moment.

    While I've been peeing on pregnancy tests at LEAST once a day for over two weeks (please do not hand me anything test shaped... pencils, drinking straws, french fries... I'll probably pee on those, too), I hadn't totally accepted it until our first beta test on 6/4. We were 10 days past transfer and I was expecting a number close to 100, if we were lucky. I made the nurse repeat herself three times when she said 348. Our second beta doubled right on time (12dp5dt 769), and the nurse even told us we were "textbook". I know better than to get too excited, but if IVF pregnancies are a ladder, we've made it up several rungs this week.

    I'm using this little questionnaire borrowed from my friend, Emily, but I'm also modifying it a little for my first trimester to incorporate the unique qualities that IVF brings to a pregnancy... 

    How far along? 4 weeks
    IVF Medications? Progesterone in oil shot every other day, 4 progesterone suppositories daily, 6 mg estrogen daily.
    Maternity clothes? No, but the bloat is so real that buttoning my pants is no longer a thing when seated (thanks, progesterone)
    Stretch marks? No
    Bladder Watch: Trying to drink more water than usual to stay healthy is great, but I may as well move my laptop to the bathroom stall some days at the office. Nothing too difficult to handle yet, though!
    Sleep: No problemo!
    Best moment(s) this week: Beta number calls!
    Miss Anything? Not really, yet. I think the excitement outweighs that for now.   
    Movement: Would be terrifying at this point.
    Food cravings: Not exactly, but I do need cheesy snacks regularly to keep nausea down (like goldfish crackers or Trader Joe's white cheddar cheetos). 
    Anything making you queasy or sick: Being hungry, which is amusing and complicated. I've actually lost a few pounds, despite my snacking, which just means more room for cheetos.
    Gender: Hoping for a dinosaur.
    Labor Signs: No, thank goodness.
    Pregnancy Symptoms: Very mild nausea and tiredness, mostly. My breasts hurt less than they do when I'm about to begin my period, but still ache. Its just different. Cramping occasionally. A runny nose- I'm still not convinced this was pregnancy related, although my doctor said it probably is.
    IVF Medication Symptoms: BLOATING (I feel massive). And my poor butt is such a mess from the injections. So red and lumpy and itchy! Only 6-8 more weeks of this! 😑
    Belly Button in or out? In
    Rings on or off? On
    Happy or Moody most of the time: A little of everything. I'm happy, but guarded and I can definitely tell my patience is a bit thinner than usual.  
    Looking forward to: Our first ultrasound on 6/20! I cannot wait to hear blob's heartbeat and take another huge sigh of relief.

    I know, I know.... back AWAY from the pregnancy tests. But I can't believe they're leaving me alone with this baby for TWO WEEKS until my ultrasound. Its my only way of checking in on blob....


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    Hi there!

    I'm Sandy and this is my blog about my first pregnancy with ivf.

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