On Wednesday, January 23rd, I worked from home because I had an OB appointment. I’d woken up feeling particularly bad. My face and tongue were swollen and I’d been having terrible issues with sinus pressure/headaches. My feet were still beyond huge. I chalked it up to having gone into the office the day before and promised myself I wouldn’t do that again. At the doctor, my blood pressure read 138/68. Not out of the realm of normal, but way higher than I’m used to seeing. The nurse actually said, “Wow, who made you mad this morning??” I felt like this would cause some concern from my doctor, along with the rapidly changing swelling in my face and sinuses. He did a Doppler on Frankie's heartbeat and a cervical check and I hadn’t really progressed, just effaced a little. I mentioned the swelling and he seemed not to be too worried. Just assured me Frankie was fine and sent me on my way. I was very disappointed, but not surprised. I was convinced I'd be miserable for at least another two weeks. I went on a walk with Emily, Ham, and Harrison that evening and noted that my feet/legs were easily the hugest they’d been yet. Of course, Tater was sick, I was sleeping downstairs with him in the guest room to keep our bed and upstairs carpet clean from him, and I was not sleeping for more than an hour or two because of the discomfort.

I woke up on Thursday, the 24th, feeling even worse. I brought my work laptop downstairs and got comfy on the couch, trying to take my mind off the nagging worry I had about my blood pressure and the swelling. I couldn't concentrate at all. I just basically jiggled the mouse every few minutes and tried to keep myself upright. I texted my boss and let her know I needed to take a nap because I was feeling terrible and that I'd sign back on in an hour or so. Before my nap, one of my friends, Stevie, sent me a message checking in on me. Stevie’s daughter was conceived at the same clinic as Frankie and we have the same OB group, so we’ve been chatting over the last year with our shared experiences. She mentioned the insane swelling and I told her about my blood pressure. She urged me to please call the office back and ask for a non-stress test. When I told her I felt like I was being silly and over-dramatic, she talked me down and basically convinced me that this is important enough to BE a drama queen, if it means the baby is healthy. I took a nap anyway, and when I woke up, I felt all wrong. I have no idea how else to describe it.

I called the office and left a message for the nurse, asking if there was something I could do... go to Publix and use the blood pressure cuff? When she called me back, she asked if I’d expressed any of my swelling concerns to the doctor (eye roll) and to go to the nearest fire station to have my blood pressure checked and call her back. I decided it might be easier to see if any of my neighbors had a cuff, and I put a post up on our neighborhood family page asking if any nurses were home. My friend, Bryn, is a cardiac patient and has a cuff with her at all times. She headed over to my house and I made sure to stay on the couch and try to stay calm. She arrived around 1 pm and took my blood pressure- 164/104. She grabbed my purse and shoes and put me in the car immediately, all while I protested and argued that I just would wait until the nurse told me what to do and that I needed to grab my hospital bags and walk the dogs one more time. She refused. I called Daniel en route and left him a voicemail, letting him know we were just heading to the doctor for a quick check. Instead of going the ER, I insisted on going to my doctor's office within the hospital. Bryn argued with me while I insisted on taking the stairs. We waited in the lobby after letting them know I was there, and when it went past 15 minutes, Bryn insisted they check me again, all while I insisted I was F.I.N.E. (Seriously, thank god for Bryn). By the time they brought me back to an exam room, my blood pressure was at 170/100, even after just sitting in the lobby. They tested my urine and there was trace protein in it, a sign of preeclampsia beginning to develop.

The on call doctor, Dr. Laubsher, decided to send me to labor and delivery to have blood work done as a precaution and to make sure it wasn’t time to get the baby out. They took me over to labor and delivery in a wheelchair and I complained the whole time. I could walk! Bryn kept asking if I was ready to meet Frankie and I told her it wasn’t happening yet. There was no way! I was only 37.5 weeks! I swear, I am more stubborn.... by this time, Daniel has received my message and was leaving the work site to grab the hospital bags. He'd texted and called the family to let them know as well, but not to get their hopes up too much. I'd already told him I was probably being sent home.

Once in triage, I was hooked up to several monitors and gave a few vials of blood. We started a 24 hour urine collection to continue testing for urine. It was discovered that I was having regular contractions on my own, but that my cervix was still very very closed. I guess all the little "braxton hicks" I'd been feeling were not false labor at all. Bryn waited with me and helped me ask the doctors and nurses the right questions. We waited for Daniel and for the lab results for about an hour. At about 3:30, Daniel arrived and we thanked Bryn and sent her on her way. Seriously do not know what would have happened without Bryn. THANK YOU, BRYN!

Dr. Laubsher came in and let us know that all the test results were in but one last result, and that it looked like we would be going home. She assured us that we’d probably be delivering within the week, but to go home, sleep in our own beds, eat, and be prepared. She explained how to do a 24 hour urinalysis and gave us the materials we would need while she called for a nurse to come help me get unhooked from all the machines. She left then and we started packing up and thinking about where to go for dinner. I really wanted Mossfire. I was starving and hadn't really eaten since breakfast. Mmmm... spinach, goat cheese, and black bean quesedilla!

About 5 minutes later, the doctor came back in the door, chuckled, and said, “Change of plans!” Apparently, the last test had come back way abnormal. I’m still not sure what the test was for, but they were looking for .3 or below and I was at .7. I was to begin induction immediately due to preeclampsia.

We were taken to our birthing suite (room #16... the largest on the floor), and after we ate dinner and settled in with admissions (thank you Susan and Mark for delivering Mossfire to us!), we began Misoprostol. It’s a cervical suppository that REALLY hurts going in and is meant to soften your cervix. They gave me one dose at 8:45 pm and then we were supposed to follow up with a second, larger dose four hours later.

Unfortunately, my body had other plans. I began having too strong of contractions for them to do the second dose. However, at each cervical check (usually about four hours apart), I had not progressed at all. So they tried a different tactic the next morning. At 8:30 am (January 25th, 37 weeks, 5 days gestation), they started me on the lowest possible level Pitocin drip. 1cc/hr. They would bump me up during the day as they watched my contractions to see if they would even out. I can't even really remember much of this day. It was a blur of medicine, pain, exhaustion, hunger. The day was LONG. The clear liquids food plates were awful. There were stretches of hours where I wanted to beg for the epidural. There were periods where the contractions were so small, I slept right through them. My parents visited, my sister visited, Emily visited, I was miserable. People kept texting and calling to see if the baby was here. Daniel was becoming an expert at helping me with the bed pan and I hated it. All the while, her little heart rate monitor told us she was just fine in there, which was the only point of relief. At each cervical check, nothing had changed and I just wanted to cry. My blood pressure never really stabilized. Dr. Smith was now the on call doctor, and she is my favorite at the practice. I was so pleased to have her there. It was about this time that I noticed my vision was pretty blurry. I don't know why I hadn't really noticed before, but it looked like I was kind of holding my eyes open underwater. Of course, this is a MAJOR sign of preeclampsia developing.

Our Pitocin level was now at 16cc/hour and it was the highest they could bump it because I was having 6 contractions every 10 minutes. At 4:30, my cervix has not progressed past “a dimple”. There was no way to get a balloon cath in there to even help me dilate. Dr. Smith said we could review a few options at 9 pm. We could stop all medication and try again the next day, or we could discuss a c-section. I knew then I just wanted to do the c-section, but she wanted to wait until that 9 pm check. At 8:45, our new nurse, Allison, came in to check my contraction monitor. For my Pitocin being so high, I was barely even contracting anymore. She had me lay on my left side to adjust the monitor and I heard this loud POP! and what felt like a really strong baby kick. The baby’s heart rate monitor picked up what just sounded like a big kick, but I heard a balloon pop inside, I swear! I asked Daniel and the nurse if they’d heard that and they looked at me like I was crazy.... and then the liquid started coming out. My water had broken. Ten minutes before the call was made for a c section. I was so exhausted and scared they were now going to make me labor even more, and I wouldn’t have anything left for our baby once she was here. Water breaking is a lot different than they show in the movies. More came out if I laughed, it definitely elevated my pain levels. 

Allison did a cervical check and there was STILL no change.... how does water break without your cervix dilating? I still have no idea. But with that information, Dr. Smith let me make the call- it was time to get this girl out. 

We suited up and did one last little bit of bloodwork for the spinal block before being taken back. I asked to walk to the OR, since I wouldn’t be walking for at least another 12 hours. Once in the OR, I was completely terrified of the needle in my spine. I was freezing, naked, and still leaking fluid. Allison let me hold her hands as I hunched over on the table, and Jason, our anesthesiologist, administered the block. I immediately felt like my feet were in a warm bubble bath. They spun me up onto the table, and the sensation spread up to my rib cage. It was legitimately one of the craziest and nicest feelings in the world. I was prepped for surgery while they brought Daniel in. Daniel got into the room and I proclaimed “You gotta try this shit!” to him and the room erupted in laughter. He took a seat next to my head and they tested to make sure I had no feeling. Then we got started. 

I have no concept of time during this, but the sensations were bizarre. I specifically remember them pressing HARD on my rib cage to get her out and I was worried they would break a rib. Jason encourages Daniel to watch them take her out of me and he saw her head come out. I haven’t asked him to describe this to me... I don't know that I want to know. Hahaha. 

When they pulled her out at 9:58 pm, it was just the biggest feeling of relief on my body. Her cord was around her neck, but it was loose and she was okay. She cried, and my heart just broke into a million pieces. They brought her around the curtain for me to see, and she was purple and screaming and gorgeous. Daniel went with her to the warming table and got to cut her cord and help with some of her clean up. Once she was clean and swaddled, he brought her back over to sit with me while they put me back together. She was holding his hand and trying to latch onto him already. She was absolutely perfect at 6lbs 1oz and 19.5 inches long. 

Everything beyond this moment is a complete blur. I almost fell asleep on the table. I was so nauseous. I felt weird. The family was all in the waiting room, but I couldn’t fathom seeing anyone. They wheeled us all back to our room and offered me a little morphine. I was shaking and so tired. Daniel left to show our families photos and they all decided to come back the next day. I was trying to breastfeed her, but I was shaking so badly and so exhausted that Allison basically had to hold the baby and my breast for me. It was so overwhelming and exhausting, but she was HERE. 

For everything that happened, I am still so happy with our birth experience. I loved our doctor and our nurses, everyone was extremely helpful and listened to me and my wishes. No one shamed me for wanting a c-section, and we all laughed about the fact that despite active contractions for 33 hours, I never technically went into labor because of my cervix. Daniel was an absolute champion through the whole thing and has already proven himself to be the best husband and father I could have ever asked for. 

Since her delivery, recovery has been a little more complicated for Frankie and I. I’ll make sure to write that story in her one month update. For now, I’m just soaking up all the Frankie love I can get.